Hi!
As a sensitive soul, sending out last week’s survey was a big step for me. Honestly, I can’t even think too hard about writing this newsletter - it blows my mind that I can still hit send every week.
I didn’t even look at ANY of the answers until yesterday. I braced myself, reached for my boyfriend’s hand as we sat coworking together, and started scrolling.
What I found, was incredibly sweet and supportive. Idk why I was preparing for hate mail (??), but it’s amazing the kinds of criticisms your mind can create when you give it a window of vulnerability.
I’m going to make an assumption that many of you in this community most likely identify as somewhere on the sensitivity scale. I think it’s one of the reasons why we gravitate towards practices within the well-being sphere that peddle in softness, vulnerability, and understanding.
Sensitivity as a trait is multi-faceted. It can give us intuitive super powers and a depth of feeling that is beyond what others can experience. It can also be weaponized against people who are deemed less sensitive and sometimes, frankly debilitating when it comes to personal growth.
In my personal experience, I’ve witnessed both myself and others grasp for sensitivity as a crutch. This feels risqué to say, but sometimes I even think people use titles like empath or highly sensitive person to shrug off inner work. It’s akin to using our astrological signs as an excuse for bad behavior (this sketch is a favorite funny example of mine).
Yes, I’m sensitive. To certain things especially. But there are areas of my inner landscape that feel impenetrable. And being able to see the patchwork of sensitivities and strengths that make me up instead of a thick “I’m sensitive” blanket statement, is a more accurate reflection of my real self.
Labels can be helpful. I think it’s why we like astrology or other personality indicators. When I first got into astrology, identifying as a Cancer helped me claim my sensitivity. But as time and integration has gone on, I’ve found myself transcending these labels. Do I still get a chuckle out of an astrology meme and forward it to all my friends with the note “this is SO me”? Yes, 1000%.
But I don’t have the same ravenous appetite for identification that I’ve had in the past. Maybe it’s maturing, maybe it’s a plateau in my current understanding of myself, or maybe I’m just beginning to be okay with the shifting, multi-faceted expanse that makes up the slippery idea of self.
This is why I’m currently fascinated with the exploration of real vs. ideal self (still thinking about Haley Nahman’s essay) and using archetypes + aesthetics to mirror and refract these identities (Michelle Pellizzon is my archetype muse / teacher).
Next week we’ll dive deeper into this, but today I wanted to illustrate how some of the labels we hold can impact us, and there’s always a lot more going on behind a one word “I” statement.
Finally, thank you for responding to my survey and continuing to open this newsletter on a weekly basis. Each one of you is a sweet soul who contains so much more than what I can even begin to gather about you.
Until next time,
Hannah